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We Want To Know The Reasons Why

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We are living in an age when the dynamics of personality development is under close scrutiny. We want to know why things happen as they do-when they go right, and when they go wrong. The principles of general semantics are valuable in this project of self-discovery.

Such an inquiring attitude into the nature of the individual and into the nature of society could hardly be found in an autocratic society where the individual had his place and was supposed to stay there.

We live in a society, which in theory extends opportunities for everyone to develop his capacities as fully as possible, is based upon hopeful assumptions.

The individual today is asserting his dignity and self-respect. He is getting up and saying, "I want to know more about myself and about the society in which I live! I am just as good as, or certainly not much worse than, the other person."

Perhaps this overambitious individual is motivated by envy. When he sees a successful, cheerful, productive person with lots of energy and a capacity for winning friends, he says, "How did he get that way? If he can do it, why can't I?"

We are not satisfied with the explanation that it was just "luck," although we suspect that luck may have had a lot to do with it, really. As we believe we can advance ourselves educationally and economically (to some degree) by our efforts, we believe we can do something to "improve" our personalities. We can apply the disciplines of general semantics to the problems of our daily living.

We can have confidence in psychological "know how." We can stress experimentation and observe what is going on here and now, as a method of getting better results in interpersonal relationships. Perhaps the same open circuit and "give-and-take" communication which is desirable between individuals is also desirable between groups.

In brief, we believe that there are definite things we can do here and now to become the kind of personalities we would like to become. And there are things we can do to get along a little better with others.

Also, when things go wrong in our lives (as they frequently do), we are inclined to demand "reasons," the real reasons, not just superficial ones. We seek more meaningful explanations. Here there are dangers. Sometimes we assume that the less obvious explanation will be the more valuable one. This is not necessarily so.

For example, when a person is upset, we ask for a reason. He may say, "I've been working too hard." Well and good, as far as it goes. But it may not go far enough. We may want a better and more complete answer. We may want to inquire among his friends and obtain more information, adding their stories to his story.

This checking up and obtaining additional information gives us a picture that more accurately represents what is happening. "I want a better explanation than that," we say. "Perhaps you have been working too hard. But what else is bothering you?" etc. These additional questions may stimulate us to look beyond the immediate situation. We seek deeper reasons, more accurate reasons, reasons that come closer to "hitting the nail on the head."

However, just because a reason is less obvious than the one that first came to mind does not mean that it is better. The "reasons" should be tested by experiment, wherever possible. The stories must be checked with the facts. A less obvious explanation, if accepted uncritically, might be as misleading as an obvious one.

Also, no matter how thoroughly we investigate, we never comprehend reality completely. Our concepts are always to a degree erroneous, and our judgments are always to a degree unfair. We are perhaps more easily misled by explanations that we do not test and question (whether obvious or obscure), than by those we do test and question.

We evaluate our explanations by testing them out in reality. We want to find out how accurately our thoughts represent the realities that are taking place. Are our realities everything that we expect them to be. What are you doing to change your reality?
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Donna Benstead is an author, mentor and strategist, with 30+ years experience supporting professionals and business owners achieve the lives of their dreams. Contact her through

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Highly-skilled business and personal coach. Backed up by over 30 years of experience in ICT, Project Administration, Enterprise Infrastructure and Programme Management in both public and private sectors. Passionate about improving lives in and out of the office. I know every business has unique challenges, so I craft every programme to offer a unique experience. Sharing knowledge and bringing systematic methodologies to business, focusing on each person's assets while impelling team members to work together for the greater good. Topics include Leadership Development, Time Management, Action Plans and Mentoring. I can give single training workshops or prepare packs for all levels of employment, featuring specials for Executive Management, 2nd Tier Management, Sales Teams and Sole Traders. Above all things, I care about people. Besides corporate training, I can give one-on-one mentorship programmes, lasting anything from six weeks to twelve months, with an holistic approach on goals achievement and prosperity in all personal and professional aspects. - Are you sick of being pulled in different directions and want balance between your personal and professional life? - Do you often worry you will never reach the success you dream of and frightened you’ll end up completely unfulfilled? - Are you feeling overwhelmed and exhausted trying to meet all your obligations and receiving little or no reward for your efforts? Well, get excited for a limited time I am offering a complimentary 30 minute session to start you on your road to success. Contact me on 0408 459 880 or;

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